Skiing without snow

The Salzburg bus system is truly an experience. I have a monthly bus pass and I often find myself riding the bus several times a day. The system is efficient and reliable which is rather boring, but there are several things which make it interesting and exciting.
All the busses here are electric. They scurry along like golf carts on a system of wires that run up above the streets. This is convenient because one day I got lost and I found my way back by following the wires. Sometimes at night you can see the electric sparks and flashes at the contact points between the bus and the wires. It's like miniature lightning bolts. The bus garage is very close to the Orff Institut and late at night you can see all the busses lumbering in to sleep. Although I called them golf carts, they are indeed quite large, with two "compartments" that are connected together with this large accordion. It can be quite entertaining to stand on the bus in the accordion, especially when going around corners. The floor shifts, kind of like a Tilt-A-Whirl at the county fair.
The other thing that shifts are the passengers. The bus that I take in the morning often resembles a mosh pit with all the students trying to get to the university, junior high and high school on the southeast side of town. Some of the bus drivers are very cautious, but some MUST get up on the wrong side of the bed and seem hell bent on careening around corners and speeding up before a stop just for the sheer joy of slamming on the brakes. This can give the effect of skiing without snow. I am not a regular skier but I DO remember that it's a whole lot easier to negotiate the slopes with your knees bent. I have taken to riding the bus in a similar fashion. I've learned that the overhead orange straps that are there for your hanging convenience are particularly useless when you get one of these bus jockeys. Bending your knees does not help and you end up twirling around several times and dumping the contents of your satchel on the nearest innocent passenger. Thank goodness I haven't spilled the contents of my Obama mug! One time the driver went up on the sidewalk and the resulting drop meant that a lot of us bumped our head on the ceiling. Well, almost...
One night I got on the bus and they were training a new driver. I think I have bruises from that one.
The bus runs on a sort of honor system. The powers that be trust that you have bought a ticket and woe betide you if you did not. Virginia and I were checked one day for tickets by a guy who wore jeans, a sweater and a baseball cap. He smiled pleasantly, said "Tickets please" and flashed a badge. I found mine pretty quickly, but Virginia had to dig in her bag. The guy told her to forget it but she insisted. She did finally find the ticket and all was well.
Today I was riding back to my apartment and a friendly woman came walking up the aisle asking in German to see our tickets. (I'm glad I understand enough German to get the drift!) She was dressed in the standard European outfit (see previous post!) and flashed a badge. A young couple got on the bus, she hugely pregnant and he some other nationality. The friendly woman asked to see their tickets.
It was like a crime show! They couple could/would not produce tickets. The woman snapped her fingers and a security person appeared. Like magic! From some other part of the bus! The couple was escorted off at the next stop where they were met by two MORE security police. Everyone on the bus knew that they were goners.
The fine I understand is enormous. I have no intention of finding out what it is. Besides, you probably have to go to four different offices with six different forms on two different days at different hours just to pay it.

The moral of the story? When riding on a Salzburg bus, pay for the ticket and experience the ride of your life!

It's cheaper than the Sound of Music tour.....