Nancy Drew and the Case of the Missing Staubsauger

If you paid attention to the last post, you'll know what a staubsauger is!

When I was younger (yes, dinosaurs still freely roamed the earth) I loved the Nancy Drew books. What was not to like? Nancy had a cool dad, a dreamy and supportive boyfriend Ned, a convertible and brains! In short, everything I aspired to when I reached my late teens.... especially the convertible. She was a positive role model!

I was helping my friend Gabrielle do inventory at the book store last weekend and sure enough she had some Nancy Drew books in the Young Adult section. I was glad to see that they are still in print and even more glad to find that they are still selling even here in Austria.

In what has to seem to be a totally random fact, I was awakened at 4:30 Saturday morning by the unmistakable sound of the person upstairs vacuuming their floor. Now I ask you. WHY??????

What makes this so remarkable is that until a few days ago, the vacuum cleaner was MISSING!!!!!

I have to back up here and give you some more information. I live in a studentenheim which is kind of like a dorm, but not exactly. University tuition here in Austria is free (unless you're a student in the Special Course) or minimal, but unlike the USA, housing is not provided. It's every man for himself. Studentenheime are loosely affiliated to universities in that they provide housing for students, but they are not a university entity. There is no cafeteria, food is entirely the student's responsibility. I live in a studio apartment. I have a kitchen (no oven) and minimal kitchen supplies. I have minimal furnishings, which is fine, and I don't pay utilities, which is great. There are laundry facilities in the basement (again, every man for himself), a haus meister (house master) who is on site from 9-11 on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays but never on St. Swithen's Day, and lounge (translate: smoker's paradise) on every floor. As far as cleaning supplies go, again it's every man for himself.

The putzfrau (another fabulous compound word!) keeps the housekeeping supplies in a closet on the first floor. Everyone knows where it is, and since there are no rules about using them (as there are no rules about anything, i.e. NOT playing your stereo between 1-3 AM or vacuuming at 4:30, or slamming doors) people tend to be fairly casual about borrowing and returning. I myself have borrowed the "heim Staubsauger" (house vacuum cleaner) on several occasions, which reminds me, I need to borrow it today. I am always diligent about returning it promptly, because I know there are about 200 other people in the building that could make use of it as well.

Shortly before Christmas, the house vacuum cleaner went missing. I had wanted to vacuum my room before I left for the break, but being unable to locate it, decided it might be better to wait until I returned. The dust wasn't exactly going to go anywhere. When I returned, I noticed that there was now a sign posted in the elevator, in German, asking that please, if you had borrowed the vacuum cleaner, return it. The sign hung there for a couple of weeks. Alas, no sign of the VC.

Around the end of January, I received an email from someone at the "main office" (which as I may have mentioned before is on the other side of town and has odd office hours) stating that unless the vacuum cleaner was returned on such and such a day at such and such an hour, the powers that be would conduct a room to room search and when the vacuum cleaner was found, the unfortunate person would be publicly humiliated. Of course, this was all in German. With maybe one exception, everyone on my floor is foreign and speaks something other than German first, probably English second, and German may be 3rd, 4th, or not even on the list. When they changed the security system in late November, there was total pandemonium on the floor when all the doors spontaneously unlocked at 8 PM. People had no idea the system was being changed even though they had received an email explaining everything...... in German.

Upon receiving this latest email, I went downstairs to discuss the matter with the Hausmeister. He understands English but doesn't really speak it, I understand German, but don't really speak it, so we have these great Germish conversations. I told him that I did not have the vacuum cleaner and that I didn't want him in my room and I said I thought the vacuum cleaner would turn up if the information went out in English. I explained that yes, this IS a German speaking country and yes, they have every right to expect us to make the effort to translate the information that is sent to us, but that the bottom line is, NOT EVERYONE DOES. The Hausmeister understood, but he didn't feel that his English was good enough to post a sign. Neither did the house speaker who was also there to discuss the missing item.

I asked myself "What would Nancy Drew do?" I posted a sign in the elevator in English.

Guess what? The vacuum cleaner showed up. I'll never know if it was the sign in English or the threatening email In German that initiated its return, but I for one am glad that it's back and my room is much cleaner because of it.